Lily loves Madeline (the movie with real people – she hasn’t seen the cartoons yet and probably won’t like them as much if she does). I put on Eloise after Madeline today as I thought she’d like that too (sleepy bug, moping around, heh – movie afternoon). She insisted she didn’t like it (though never having seen it). I pressed, encouraging her to give it a chance. She resisted. I pressed & started it. She insisted that “it just isn’t for me”, & chose to go up to her room alone instead of watching it.
It irritated me on some level that she wouldn’t even give it a chance, nor would she communicate the reason for her reluctance. I understood however that here was something deeper going on, so I backed off. Bugz was asserting her ability and power to make decisions of her preferences. She was doing this in a fashion that was direct, though not very detailed, effective just the same. She decided and demonstrated that if her mother wouldn’t respect her preference, she would simply remove herself from the situation and respect herself.
This would cause many a parent to lecture on being ungrateful (her grandmother gave her this movie, neither of them knowing whether she’d like it or not – which right now is not, but next week will likely be the opposite because, after all, Eloise has a turtle, a dog, and she’s kinda kooky), and being uncooperative. A lot of parents would scold, punish, or at least show disapproval for the child’s unwillingness to give the thing a fair chance. – I pushed just enough to cause her to assert herself in a manner that involved more than words, but action. She removed herself from the room, of her own accord, to get the point across to me that she didn’t want THAT movie to be showing – “it wasn’t for her”. (Polite to boot!)
YEA for Bugz!! I am, though some will likely not understand, so proud of her for behaving exactly as she did. She amazes me. I hope she keeps this up through her childhood and into her adult life. Do all here understand the value in how she handled this or would you like me to expound?