Russ and I have decided to independently school Cecily. This looks like any one/all of us leading the exploration, catching the wind of interest and intrigue (and grabbing all the stardust along the way), and intelligence flowing freely in all directions.
– In formal terms, this translates to Russ and Angie being responsible for noticing Cecily’s interests and using every moment, and every environment as an opportunity for development. Does this mean we bombard her with constant focused “learning”? No, it means we notice how everything she does, and everything the rest of the world does (including her parents) is associated with her development – a.k.a, her education.
We have a myriad of reasons, but mainly, it appears as though Lils learns best when she’s allowed to self direct her exploration, and when we are sensitive to her interests and help her explore to the fullest whatever she thinks is worth thinking about.
Purposely causing an awareness of her learning and development, in everything she does, makes it possible to guide and teach without regimen or preset/confined expectations. It allows us AND HER to actively participate in her education and development. We are following our interests (hers and ours) – and our interests inevitably lead to science, literature, history, mathematics, music, art, engineering, language, myth/lore, and on, and on.
As Earl Stevens said, “A large component of unschooling is grounded in doing real things, not because we hope they will be good for us, but because they are intrinsically fascinating. There is an energy that comes from this that you can’t buy with a curriculum. Children do real things all day long, and in a trusting and supportive home environment, “doing real things” invariably brings about healthy mental development and valuable knowledge. It is natural for children to read, write, play with numbers, learn about society, find out about the past, think, wonder and do all those things that society so unsuccessfully attempts to force upon them in the context of schooling.”
Are we unschooling? Well, no; we’re starting from the very beginning and do not need to undo, unlearn, or unschool/deschool any set habits or processes. Instead, we are educating independently.
Does that mean solo and solitary? No. Social development is encouraged, enjoyed, and uninhibited, yet guided in a respectful environment.
Does that mean we don’t have any structure? Certainly not. Our routines are all very important and necessary – they just exist without confining walls. If you think about it, as adults, those of us locked into a restrictive regimen often struggle on a number of levels. Yet, those of us who manage ourselves and our routines, and learn through necessity and discovery, within the parameters necessary to function and contribute, are free of the feeling of being “stuck”, among other less desirable feelings. This is when learning happens in its most natural state, and when it is boundless.
When it comes to life, learning, and growing, we want to make sure her world is wide and windy.
“Many students who are in and graduated/dropped out of school realize that what they learned didn’t prepare them for life and sucked the passion and love of learning right out of them… ” – Lisa Nielsen
Some of the Characteristics We Hope Will Result from Our Approach
(unedited, draft)
In most cases, listings like these focus on the child(ren) exclusively, but in our family, each of these (unless noted) are applicable to all the members in the family, adult and kid alike. It doesn’t make sense to generate a sense of exclusivity where adult/parent is distinguished from developing child when talking about whole education.
Here are our goals:
- That she (and we) be driven by our passions.
- They each of us develop and nurture our love of learning.
- Russ and I both agree that school isn’t the best place to learn lessons on socialization, and so far, Lily is significantly more confident at approaching, interacting with other children and adults, and resilience than Angie was at any point during her childhood. Russ seemed to have an easier time with peers, but it is likely due to the inherent traits in his personality, as opposed to Angie’s. Cecily seems to have her own approach entirely and it is not only very confident but quirky. http://www.nipissingu.ca/jual/NewIssue/v5191.asp
- That we all experience our days as “happy”, which means filled with the opposite of “I wish it had been different” feelings. And that the days that are challenging be met with strength, courage, perseverance, and knowledge gained.
- That she will have (an/multiple) interesting careers that she thoroughly enjoys: Russ and Angie both share this somewhat uncommon opportunity.
- She is already demonstrating her artistic sense. Given that both Russ and Angie are musicians and artists, it’s lots of fun to experience this aspect of her development with her, instead of waiting for some program at school to give her a tiny glimpse of the arts, or teach her something in a fashion that cannot possibly take into consideration, much less mold the structure of instruction specifically to her best learning environment.
- That she be free to be creative – whatever that looks like for her.
- Russ composes and produces music (this itself is endlessly complex and demanding), and he also builds telephone switches, runs networks, develops solutions for cellular service, and has a ridiculously long attention span for RC related activities.
- Angie writes, teaches everything but RC skills, creates and contributes musically, designs websites and other related marketing solutions, develops whatever, whenever it is necessary, and has a thing for playing with dirt and plantlife.
- Cecily’s creativity is already being demonstrated in her imaginative play, her sense of order and organization. Her use of color and visualizing is interesting in that she associates so much depth to the tones and hues already in the pictures she creates, but also in clothing, in material she arranges or plays with, and in the hues and images she directs attention to in nature (clouds, mountains, wide open spaces). She regularly creates nurturing environments (beds, nests, comfortable strollers) for the many creatures she cares for. She makes up songs with piano, violin, voice – and sometimes all three. The lyrics she writes are typically sensical, and often absolutely hilarious. Finally, her construction of nature (planting, digging, making fairy houses, looking for nests, making bird houses), and slightly twisted sense of humor, are all ways her creativity comes out in brilliant sparks of light that shoot in all directions.
- We hope she will develop a deep respect and concern for our environment as she grows. We have chosen to function in the least processed manner as possible in our society, and look for opportunities to demonstrate sustainability so that she will learn by example what it looks like and the benefits of this mindset and related actions.
- Russ and I consider learning in the world far more authentic and valuable then learning in the school world. In school, one learns to cope with childish and self-serving behaviors. The skill to deal with people who behave this way is important, but can be learned from an objective perspective, instead of having to either survive or drown in the difficult environment most schools provide. – I wonder… If an entire generation were raised in a society that valued respect and consideration above self, would the “workplace” look any less like 7th grade?
- We expect her to consider what she would like to do concerning college some time around 14 yrs. College wasn’t the right choice for either Russ or Angie at 18, but both see the enhancement the extended education now brings. Continuing one’s exposure to knowledge throughout life is highly valued and we hope Cecily will decide for herself what route she would like to pursue instead of just assuming that attending university is the ultimate goal.
- Because of our approach and the environment in which she will develop educationally, we hope she will advocate for herself and pursue her right to a meaningful curriculum in college. As we won’t pressure her to enter, nor will a school or other educating body, we suspect her choice concerning this level of education will correlate with her desire to take classes that are interesting, relevant, and useful to her, instead of simply following the path and set course of all those around her.
- We don’t view ourselves as an exception because our method is necessarily especially self motivated, driven, or smart. If anything, our hope is that our experience and choices having minority status is something we hope will someday shift for the benefit our society’s future generations.
- That she will shrug off the criticism that she won’t be able to function in the real world. Unlike functioning in the school world, learning in the real world prepares you for the real world. Besides, what if our choices lead her to go on as an adult and better the real world because she was free of the weight and harm that is often the result of enduring the “school world” as our society knows it currently.
- That she won’t rely or depend on learning to come just from a parent, adult, authority or teacher. That she will know how to independently tap into many resources for learning and discovery.
- That neither she nor we will have to defend our education choices, but know that those who would question us chose to fully inform themselves as to the reasons, logic, and science behind our methods, they might want the same for themselves and their children.
- That she will be adventurous. We will encourage her imagination, her sense of self, and her desire to explore and discover every chance we can find. Whether she disappears into a world within her for an epic journey, or we travel all over the globe, our hope is that her confidence, security, and courage will flourish.