Today, I changed my approach. When my 5 year old commenced her usual furniture climbing, which typically includes pulling on the shears to keep balance, and me chiding her to cease the pulling, which she does for a moment only, I responded different.
I’ve tried ‘stop’, ‘don’t’, and almost always remind – ‘they will tear/rip off wall/be ruined/not hold you/etc”.. nag, nag, no trust in her intellect given a chance at development.
Today, just as she was reaching for them, I asked (in a straight, unpretentious, not demeaning or manipulating tone), “We’re you thinking of using the curtains?” Her response was to hesitate for a moment, not grab the cloth, and with a logic and decided/empowered response, say, “No, I think I have my balance and don’t think I should.” –
I gave her the awareness of my respect and admiration (credit) for/of her intelligence. She gave me another instance to build upon, simply increasing my admiration and respect of her and her mind.
We’ll see how this experience changes this pattern.